Monday, 19 October 2015

Well we are half way through October already, we have been discussing what we will be doing at Christmas.

It is going to be a three hour drive just to get back to Devon to see family, and then we wouldn't have enough time to see everyone before travelling three hours back, we would have to pay for accommodation somewhere, and that with the extra fuel makes it expensive.

So we have decided we will post gifts instead, not sure what reaction we will get, we just get fed up, we seem to be the only ones who usually make an effort to go visiting and now everyone just assumes we will come round to them, we have had a busy year and just want to chill.

We have all got family's and sometimes you have to think of yourselves, my relationship with my family really annoys and upsets me, I feel like the black sheep of the family,my mother bought me and my two sisters up on her own, my real father died a few years ago, but when he left my mother he started another family and never wanted to know me, which broke my heart. When I was 18 I moved out of home, I know she didn't want me to go, and after that she just didn't seem bothered with me, I do not feel close to my mother at all, I feel ashamed to say it but that is the truth,  never once has told me she loves me, she is just stuck in her own little world,in the twenty six years since I met hubby she has only came to our house twice and then she tagged along with someone else.
She doesn't drive, but we have never lived more than 45 mins apart, there are buses.

She quite happily goes down my elder sisters house down the road every day, and she manages to go from North Devon to Weston Super Mare  with my elder sister, to see my younger sister .

But they just don't make an effort with me, unless I ring her she just can't be bothered, when I found out I had Cancer in Feb 2014 , I rang to tell her and her reaction was 'Oh dear', and during that year she only rang me twice to see how I was, I was the one going through a tough time and she just couldn't be assed.

We have been here now just over 9 weeks, and she hasn't rung to see how we are getting on, and I am not ringing on principle.

But I know she is never going to change, I just find it so upsetting.

We are both very close to our own son, he rings me everyday just to say hello and he is not embarrassed to give his mum and dad a kiss and hug. 

I know as our son gets older and when he gets a job and his further away from us and busy, we will always stay in contact and not drift apart, we have a special bond.